Therapy is often portrayed as a guaranteed path to healing, but what happens when it starts to feel like you’re unraveling instead of recovering?
For many, working with a therapist is a transformative and empowering experience. But unfortunately, not all therapy is good therapy. Just like in any profession, there are practitioners who are mismatched, inattentive, poorly trained, or even harmful. And when therapy goes wrong, it doesn’t just stall your growth. It can make your mental and emotional health worse.
The problem is that we’re often conditioned to believe that if therapy isn’t working, we’re the problem. That belief can keep people stuck in unproductive or damaging therapeutic relationships for far too long.
If you’ve been feeling worse instead of better after sessions, or if something just feels off, trust your gut. Here are six warning signs your therapist may be making things worse and how to take your power back.
1. You Leave Sessions Feeling Confused, Ashamed, or Emotionally Drained Every Time
It’s normal to occasionally leave therapy feeling stirred up. Processing emotions can be intense. But if you consistently walk out of your sessions feeling ashamed, disoriented, or like you’ve been emotionally beaten down, that’s a red flag.
Therapy should challenge you, yes, but it should also make you feel supported, understood, and seen. If your therapist constantly invalidates your feelings, shames your decisions, or leaves you more confused than when you arrived, that’s not growth. That’s harmful.
Productive therapy can be tough, but it should never erode your sense of self. If your mental health is spiraling because of therapy, not despite it, something isn’t right.
2. They Talk More Than They Listen Or Hijack the Conversation
Your therapist should be there to guide you, not dominate the room with their own anecdotes, tangents, or life philosophy. If your therapist frequently talks over you, minimizes your issues to share their own stories, or regularly takes the spotlight off your needs, that’s a major sign of poor boundaries and misaligned priorities.
Even worse is when therapists use their role to subtly control the direction of your sessions without your input. Therapy should be collaborative. You’re not there to be lectured. You’re there to be understood, empowered, and helped.
If you’re spending your sessions listening to them instead of being heard yourself, it may be time to reevaluate who’s really benefiting from the relationship.
3. They Don’t Remember Key Details About You or Your Progress
There’s nothing more disheartening than realizing your therapist doesn’t remember your name, your story, or what you talked about last week. It makes you feel like a number, not a person.
Everyone has off days, but if your therapist regularly forgets major details, asks you the same questions repeatedly, or makes it obvious they haven’t reviewed your history, it shows a lack of investment in your care.
Therapy is built on trust. If your therapist can’t be bothered to remember your trauma, milestones, or goals, it can feel not just unhelpful but actively retraumatizing. You deserve a therapist who treats your healing like it matters—because it does.
4. You Feel Dependent on Them But Not Empowered
A great therapist helps you develop the tools to navigate life on your own. A problematic one fosters dependence, leaving you feeling like you can’t function without them. This subtle manipulation can creep in through constant “only I understand you” language or by undermining your instincts and confidence.
If you find yourself feeling more helpless or unsure the longer you work with your therapist, they may be intentionally (or unintentionally) encouraging dependency rather than growth. Healthy therapy helps you feel more capable, not less. If your sessions leave you doubting your strength, it might not be healing. It might be control disguised as care.
5. They Dismiss or Pathologize Your Cultural, Gender, or Identity Experiences
One of the clearest signs of a bad therapist is a lack of cultural humility. If your therapist makes assumptions about you based on race, gender, sexuality, religion, or socio-economic status or dismisses the trauma you’ve experienced as a result of those identities, they’re not creating a safe space for healing.
Some therapists unconsciously reinforce societal biases by gaslighting your lived experiences. Others may tokenize you, try to “educate” you about your own culture, or ignore intersectional dynamics that are essential to understanding your challenges.
Your identity matters. If you feel unseen, stereotyped, or corrected when you express who you are, your therapist is likely doing more harm than good.
6. They Cross Boundaries or Create Uncomfortable Power Dynamics
Therapists are ethically and professionally bound to respect certain boundaries. That includes not initiating romantic or social relationships with clients, not oversharing about their own lives, and not creating environments that feel coercive or flirtatious.
If your therapist makes comments that feel inappropriate, pushes you to discuss things you’re not ready for, or acts like they have all the answers and you have none, that’s a misuse of power. Even subtle manipulation, like guilt-tripping you into continuing therapy or criticizing you for missing a session, can ruin trust and safety.
Boundaries in therapy aren’t just formalities. They’re the framework for ethical, effective care. If your therapist blurs them, don’t ignore the warning signs.
What to Do If Your Therapist Is Making Things Worse
If any of the signs above resonate with you, don’t panic, but don’t ignore them either. Here’s what you can do:
- Start journaling how you feel after each session to identify patterns. Are things improving or deteriorating?
- Bring up your concerns in therapy—if it feels safe. A good therapist will welcome feedback, not punish you for it.
- Consider getting a second opinion from another mental health professional, especially if you feel emotionally worse over time.
- Know you have the right to switch therapists. You are not obligated to stay in a therapeutic relationship that isn’t working.
- File a complaint with the appropriate licensing board if ethical boundaries were crossed.
Therapy is a partnership. You deserve to feel respected, safe, and supported. If your therapist is making you doubt yourself, dread appointments, or regress emotionally, it’s okay to walk away.
Trust Your Instincts. They’re Part of the Healing
You are not too sensitive, too dramatic, or too broken if therapy hasn’t helped you. Sometimes, the problem isn’t you. It’s the therapeutic relationship. And that matters.
Healing should feel like a forward movement. It’s not always linear or easy, but it should never leave you feeling powerless, confused, or silenced. If it does, speak up or step away.
Have you ever had to leave a therapist who wasn’t a good fit? What helped you realize it was time to move on?
Read More:
How Much Does Therapy for Body Image Issues Cost?
How to Check In With Your Own Mental Health
Riley is an Arizona native with over nine years of writing experience. From personal finance to travel to digital marketing to pop culture, she’s written about everything under the sun. When she’s not writing, she’s spending her time outside, reading, or cuddling with her two corgis.
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